This morning I woke up and thanked God for another year; ageing is a privilege denied to many, and I'm grateful I get to keep doing it.41.
Man, I can't even believe it. Where did the time go??? Such a cliche I know, but that's how I feel. Although certain periods of my life have felt painfully slow, overall the whole life thing has gone by too fast. Can't we just hit the pause button every now and then? I'd like to stop and catch my breath sometimes, but it doesn't work that way.
I've spent the first part of my life not fully daring to be myself; because of my fractured past, I questioned my right to be here, to take up space, and to be myself.
I've been waiting for the world to give me permission, and to validate me.
The bonus of ageing - if we take the time to pause and reflect on a regular basis - is that we grow wiser as the time passes.
What I've realized is that no one will ever GIVE me permission to own and express the fullness of my being; that's something I have to take for myself.
Where I'm at on a SOUL LEVEL right now is that it's FINALLY become more important for me to live my truth and be proud of who I am than worry about what other people are going to think of me.
Even a long life will end up going by too fast; it's time to be fully myself and stop apologizing to those people who, for their own reasons, can't love and accept me as I am. That's THEIR stuff, not mine.
At mid-life, the Universe pulls you close and says - I'm not fucking around; you're halfway to dead. The armour is keeping you from growing into the gifts I've given you - that is not without penalty - time is up.
- Brene Brown
No more time for fucking around because this is MY life; as long as I'm not interfering with anyone else's journey, no one has the right to tell me how to live it.
It's my life, it's now or never.
It's time to go out into the world with the intention of being seen. Not the goal of being seen, you understand, but the intention of being seen, meaning I'm not going to hide who I am anymore and whoever sees me, sees ME.
I have a sparkly soul that's literally been dying to shine, and it's about fucking time I did.
Happy 41st birthday kiddo! You're doing amazing and you're exactly where you're supposed to be. I know the first half of your life was kind of a gong show, but I promise you, things are only going to get better from here.
In life, if one wants seriously to understand how the world works, he must die at least once. And, since this is the rule, better to die young, when you still have so much time ahead of you to pull yourself together and resuscitate.
Giorgio Bassani: The Garden of the Finzi-Continis