JUST A THOUGHT: Spotted at the Gym: Mr. Brightside

This past Saturday, I went to my usual 8 AM spin class.

Guess who was there?

Guess.

(You'll never guess.)

Mr. Brightside.

(I did kinda give it away with the title of my post though, huh?)

Talk about unexpected; I hadn't seen him since after our break-up in January.

My internal voice's first words were "Well this is awkward."

And then I questioned that: was it though? Did I feel awkward or inhibited in any way because I knew he was there? (And sitting right behind me, no less.)

Nope. Not AT ALL.

What's funny is that I wouldn't have noticed him if he hadn't said hello to me.

We notice the things that we're consciously or subconsciously focused on.

He is so NOT on my mind, that I wouldn't have seen him, even though he was RIGHT THERE.

Which shows me how much I’ve grown and changed in the last year because his presence made no difference to me; I just didn't care.

I was at the gym in sweaty clothes, hair a mess with no makeup on, and I didn't care that he saw me like that. I didn't care what he thought of me.

I did not give my power away to someone else's opinion of me.

In my spin class, the teacher and the regulars all know me because I sit pretty close to the front, and I always talk to the teacher, or shout things out like "Woot woot" when the teacher asks how we are and if we're "ready to push to the limit!!!" (Most people stay silent, as though it's a rhetorical question.)

I did all that on Saturday.

Not because HE was there.

But because that's ME.

I'm going to be me regardless of the situation, regardless of who's around, and the people who like me will like me for that: me and my sparkling personality.

I'm turning 41 next week, and I finally feel more free to just be me; that right there is the greatest gift ever. 

Seeing Mr. Brightside was a really, really good thing because it made me aware of how much I've grown.

It's likely that I will see him again at this same Saturday morning class and I don't care - in fact I say, "bring it on!"

Because I am me regardless of who is or isn't there, and regardless of what I do or don't look like.

Besides, everyone knows that confidence is the sexiest thing you could ever put on; based on that, I'm sexy as fuck.