SPANISH LOVE: Who Do You Need When You Come Undone?

Image Credit: Shaira Dela Peña on Unsplash

The BIG THOUGHT in this LITTLE POST:

The people we reach out for in our darkest moments are the ones who are active participants in our lives.

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You know how sometimes, even though you've heard a song a million times, you don't actually take in the lyrics until they point to events in your own life?

That happened to me recently.

Who do you need?
Who do you love?
When you come undone.

I interpret these words by Duran Duran as both a question and a statement.

The question is obvious: when shit hits the fan, who do you call?

The statement is less so: when shit hits the fan, the people you call are the people you love.

The people you call are the ones who've consistently been there. Not the ones who say they'll be there, but the ones who actually have been.

There are people in my life who've told me "You know you can reach out anytime, I'll always be there for you, if there's an emergency, or you need anything, just call."

But the thing is, if that person hasn't been a regular part of my life for the last six-months to a year, I'm not going to call them; I won't reach out.

Love isn't supposed to be a noun, it's a verb.

Love is more than a feeling, it's an action.

The act of being there - walking with someone through life, witnessing their journey - that's love.

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The problem is that love is used as a noun in our society; we say we love something in the same casual way we would describe the colour of an object.

In Spanish there are two different words used for love: the word 'querer' (to want) is used to say love: "Te quiero." It implies a deep like, want, and appreciation.

But there's also the word 'amar' (to love). To say to someone "Te amo" - now that's really big. That's a deep love, and it would never be used as a descriptor.

We need another word in the English language that implies love in a more meaningful way than the casual descriptor that the word has now become.

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Who are the people you call when you "come undone"?

Willingness to be vulnerable around someone is a wonderful litmus test of your feelings for that person.

It's likely to be the people you feel "amar" for and not simply "querer" - because loving someone means being willing to be truly vulnerable around them. If you're ok being vulnerable around someone it's because they've made you feel emotionally safe enough to "come undone."

Who do YOU need?
Who do YOU love?
When you come undone.

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